Hello to my possible followers, the page is still very new, or should I be saying ‘I’m still very new to this page’. I’ve never blogged before, yeah I’m middle aged, well I think I am; is 46 classed has mid-aged??
The story I’ve been posting was and still is, the first novel / book I’ve ever written, and it still excites me, it churns up passion and a drive like no other.
I will endeavour to get better at the blogging, hoping to catalogue the chapters better so it’s not one continuous piece of writing, purely so new visitors can locate chapters easier. This wasn’t my goal for this.
This is the story of my books journey…a stories story, if you will…
I wrote the initial draft for the book ‘A New Revelation’ in 2001 after suffering from severe stress, anxiety, which lead to full blown depression.
Writing was my way of dealing with my illness at first, compiling list and to-do plans, simply to create the confidence I needed to purely complete a day. And more to the point, to end a day in a positive sense, and attempt sleep without the added memory of defeat in whatever form it came in.
And like most people (that aren’t battling mental health issues) we all fail at completing tasks and manage to fall asleep truly at peace. My faith was steadfast, it did help me, it guided me to purely think bigger than me, to remove the idea that I was small, weak and insignificant. But I also had to tread carefully in regards my mental health prognosis. I didn’t want to create delusional elements to my though processes. So my faith wasn’t paused, it was more like monitored. I needed a reset button for my health and for what was to come next in my life’s journey. I was to become a father for the first time, and even though I’d wanted to be a dad so much, more than a career. The whole idea of being responsible for another ‘being’ other than myself, did stress me out…
That’s when the writing came in, the lists became longer, more anecdotal, more diary like…I would describe how I felt on a particular day, not just the satisfying ‘tick’ next to an item on my to-do-lists. I was becoming more reflective, more positive. I was letting go of my stresses through my writing, only a few sentences. It was often misspelt with bad grammar. At times I don’t think I’ve improved over the last 18 or so years. I wasn’t much of a writer previously, I left my formal education with little more than the confidence to fill out a basic form, and then I’d need several just in case I made a mistake.
But something miraculous happened and it was a faith moment, it was a collective peace from, both the writing and dreaming, it was entwined…I would experience the deepest of sleeps; then wake up. With the vividest of dreams locked in my mind. I would quickly find a note pad or scrap of paper to jot down bullet points or whole reams of dialogue, character narrative and plot twists in what was to become my first novel.
It took weeks, months and years to develop it further, I’d already started and completed the sequel until I had to pause it, to actually pursue writing it at a computer with all the detailed plot twist and narrative. Basically to give the story flesh and muscle…the bones I’d done on old A4 note pads, free pads I’d received from business reps and hotels etc…
So I started the book, then hit the dreaded wall, known as ‘writers-block’. I was literally trying my best to copy from, at that the time, year old dirty note pads, and at that point in time, I’d became a father to our precious daughter…and it was very busy, and should I mention it, very ‘stressy’. But I was loving being a dad, and I was well, off my medication; I’d returned back into work months previously and life was awesome, in fact better than before. I was taking up regular exercise, even though I’d never really stopped some form of physical fitness. But I’d established a healthy routine, I was either lifting weights or going for a run most evenings. And then hitting the computer keyboard for a minimum of a thousand words (or at least editing and adding more depth to previous evenings work).
And now when I look back I find it hard to fathom where I got all that energy from, but I know I need it again…
The writing wasn’t always a ‘walk-in-the-park’ experience…I was a few chapters in within the first month or so, with the odd days off for family duties and tasks that would bore ‘you’ the reader now. Then the computer I was using decided that it didn’t want to keep its memory and I lost all the writing and more worrying quite a few photos of our baby daughter. We were gutted.
But a new computer later and an ample of dust brushed off my soul destroyed feet and we were off again…and each evening that passed was incredible…I simply loved to write and create…and now in 2019. A blog makes perfect sense, since self-publishing isn’t a viable option for me right now. I’d done that, and gained the receipts (never received a T-Shirt though).
So I hope ‘you’ and I, together can enjoy this journey as we all discover the characters and story as it continues…
Yours excitedly Adam